Healing: A Journey Through the Spiral of Transformation
As I’ve mentioned, I offer depth psychotherapy. But what does that mean? What does healing using depth principles look like? It’s not a simple, straightforward process. In fact, healing is anything but linear.
The journey of healing is more like a spiral. Picture this: you’re moving upward, but along the way, you’ll circle back, facing old wounds once again. It might feel like you’re stuck in a loop, revisiting the same painful spots. And in those moments, it’s easy to think you’re not making progress—that you’re regressing. But that couldn’t be further from the truth.
When you find yourself revisiting familiar pain, it’s not a sign of failure; it’s during these times that you reconnect with your wounded inner child—the part of you shaped by past experiences, where your worldview and personal schemas took form. Yes, it’s painful. But this is a vital part of the healing process. Going through it, feeling it, and learning how to respond is where the growth happens.
The Phoenix: An Archetype of Transformation
One of the most powerful symbols of this spiral healing journey is the Phoenix. In classical mythology, this magnificent bird lives for five to six centuries in the desert. After this long life, it burns itself on a funeral pyre and rises again from the ashes—reborn with renewed youth, ready to live another cycle.
The Phoenix’s journey is never-ending. And it’s a beautiful metaphor for the healing process. Just like the Phoenix, you will face your wounds, metaphorically burn, and then you will rise again, stronger and more resilient than before. Each time you go through this cycle, you gain new skills, new perspectives, and deeper wisdom in how to cope with your pain.
This process is the essence of healing—it is the constant process of transformation, where you shed old layers and step into the world again, renewed and equipped with new insights. With each cycle, you become a more healed and expanded version of yourself, armed with the tools to face the challenges of your past in a new way.
Patience on the Healing Path
By now, it’s clear: healing takes time. It’s a process that demands patience, and there will be moments when the pain feels overwhelming. But during those moments, remember and acknowledge how far you’ve already come. Reflect on the growth you’ve achieved and the shifts you’ve made on this journey. Every step, no matter how small it feels, is progress.
And don’t forget to acknowledge your bravery. Walking the healing path requires immense courage. It’s not for the faint of heart. So, take a moment to commend yourself for showing up, for doing the work, and for continuing to move forward—even when it feels like you’re circling back to old wounds. This, too, is part of the process.
Healing is not about perfection or avoiding pain; it’s about sitting with it, moving through it, transforming with it, and continuing on the path of healing that comes with both joys and challenges.
Practical Tips for Patience and Self-Compassion
So you’re in the fire. You’re feeling like you’re not getting anywhere, like healing is some cruel joke. But remember, the Phoenix doesn’t rise in one swift movement. It takes time. And that means patience.
1. Ground Yourself in the Present
When the pain of revisiting those wounds feels too much, ground yourself. In those moments, it helps to connect with something real—your breath, your body, the earth beneath you. Think of what helped you feel grounded in previous tough times. Take deep breaths. Feel your feet on the ground. You are not lost in the difficulty. You are here, in this moment, surviving it.
2. Journal to Your Wounded Self
Write to yourself like you would write to someone you love—someone who has been burned, someone who has risen, someone who is trying. Write to your inner child, offer compassion, and acknowledge the strength it takes to face the same pain, time and time again. Give yourself permission to feel the fire, but remind yourself that you will rise. Again. And again.
3. Celebrate the Small Shifts
Healing isn’t about big, sweeping changes. It’s about the small shifts. The moment you didn’t react the same way to a trigger. The moment you let yourself feel something instead of numbing it. These small victories are like feathers added to your Phoenix wings. Recognize them. Celebrate them. Because every tiny shift matters, even if it doesn’t feel like it.
4. Know When to Rest
The Phoenix isn't always burning, that's just one intense part of the cycle. There are times when it rests. It knows that it can’t rise if it doesn’t have the energy to do so. You, too, need to rest. When the fire feels too intense, don’t keep pushing. It’s okay to take a break, to give yourself the space to rest and heal.
5. Use Affirmations for Self-Compassion
When the cycle of healing feels overwhelming, when you’re standing in the fire and can’t see the way out, remind yourself that you are more than the pain you are experiencing. Say kindly to yourself: "I am more than this moment, this feeling. I will show up for myself and practice gentleness with myself today." Let these words support you and help you work towards self-nurturance when times are tough.
6. Envision Your Future Self
Sometimes, healing can feel like it’s never-ending. But there’s a version of you who has already recovered from this—someone who has gone through the fire and emerged from it. Visualize that future self. You can even imagine having a dialogue with this future self, and ask them what wisdom they would share with you now.
Healing is not some neat process that happens in straight lines. It is messy, cyclical, and hard as hell. But when you’re in the midst of it, remember that each time you face your pain, you are like the Phoenix. You are burning, but you are not destroyed. You are rising. And every time you do, you become something new.
Know that you are healing, even when it feels like you’re stuck. The upward spiral isn’t your enemy—it’s the path that leads you to renewal and growth. Trust it. You are not alone in this.
If you’re ready to explore these themes in a supportive, one-on-one setting, I’d love to work with you! Feel free to arrange a time for us to meet here.
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Meet Rebecca Steele, Registered Social Worker, Psychotherapist
Rebecca Steele is a Waterloo-based therapist providing trauma therapy, anxiety therapy, and counselling services virtually in Kitchener-Waterloo and across Ontario. With over a decade of experience as a counselling therapist, she offers individualized, one-on-one therapy that is direct, compassionate, and deeply attuned to the complexities of the human experience. Her work supports adults navigating depression, trauma, grief, major life transitions, boundary challenges, low self-esteem, relationship stress, and a range of anxiety-related struggles—including generalized anxiety, panic attacks, social anxiety, phobias, anxious attachment, and OCD. She aims to create a safe space where clients can confront the roots of their struggles, engage in meaningful self-exploration, and develop strategies for lasting change. If you're ready to engage in depth-oriented, transformative therapy, you can learn more about Rebecca’s online counselling services in Kitchener-Waterloo here.
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