Existential anxieties and fears is the most universal experience we will ever face as humans, yet each of us meets it through our own psychological window. In depth therapy, we explore “death” not only as literal mortality, but as the felt experience of various types of life change or endings: the death of an identity, a relationship, a role, a belief system, or a version of ourselves we’ve outgrown. All of these aspects provoke a grief response within us.

Exploring Existential Themes in Therapy

At Smart Therapy, I often support clients in navigating the deeper existential layers of life: the questions of meaning, purpose, identity, and direction. This includes exploring your worldview, clarifying what truly matters to you, and identifying the sources of fulfillment that help you feel grounded and alive. Together, we uncover what you genuinely want in your relationships, your growth, and your future, and we work toward building a life that feels purposeful, aligned, and emotionally meaningful.

When clients explore their Enneagram type, we begin to see that every type has a distinct relationship with endings, loss, grief, and the fear of "non-being". Modern life amplifies these anxieties: climate fears, economic precarity, loneliness, social comparison, and pressure to continuously reinvent ourselves.

Below is an exploration of how each Enneagram type unconsciously relates to their existential anxieties, what this means in the therapy room, and how you might work with these existential themes through gentle journal/reflection prompts.

 

Type One: The Reformer

Main existential fear: “What if I haven’t done enough?”

For Ones, death brings up fears of unfinished work, moral incompleteness, and a final “evaluation” they can’t prepare for. In modern life, this shows up as burnout, perfectionism, hyper-responsibility, and difficulty tolerating rest.

Clinical focus:

• Softening the inner critic

• Releasing moral rigidity

• Learning that worth is not earned through self-correction

Journal prompt:
If nothing needed to be perfected before your time was up, who could you allow yourself to be?

 

Type Two: The Helper

Main existential fear: “Will I be remembered? Did I matter to anyone?”

For Twos, death symbolizes the loss of connection, belonging, and appreciation. Modern anxiety shows up as emotional over-giving, fear of being forgotten, and pressure to be indispensable.

Clinical focus:

• Exploring self-worth beyond usefulness

• Untangling relational enmeshment

• Grieving unmet needs and emotional exhaustion

Journal prompt:
If you no longer needed to earn love through care, how would your relationships shift?

 

Type Three: The Achiever

Main existential fear: “If my accomplishments die with me, who am I?”

Threes fear obscurity. Death confronts them with the possibility that their hard work, image, and achievements will vanish. In modern life, this manifests as relentless productivity, identity confusion, and fear of slowing down.

Clinical focus:

• Deconstructing performance-based identity

• Reconnecting with the authentic self

• Exploring grief around never feeling “enough”

Journal prompt:
If no one could see your achievements, what would you still choose to pursue?

 

Type Four: The Individualist

Main existential fear: “Death is abandonment. I’ll disappear into the void.”

Fours often experience death as the ultimate rejection; a cosmic loss of meaning or identity. Modern anxieties show up as loneliness, romanticization of suffering, and fear of being emotionally misunderstood.

Clinical focus:

• Grounding in the present moment

• Reducing emotional self-abandonment

• Reframing “specialness” as inner essence, not suffering

Journal prompt:
What parts of you fear being abandoned, and how can you stay with yourself during those moments?

 

Type Five: The Observer

Main existential fear: “The unknown will overwhelm me.”

To a Five, death symbolizes depletion: of time, energy, knowledge, and control. In modern life, existential fear shows up through withdrawal, hoarding of resources (emotional or otherwise), and intellectualizing as a defense.

Clinical focus:

• Expanding capacity for emotional presence

• Integrating body-based awareness

• Reducing isolation and internal scarcity

Journal prompt:
What do you fear losing control over, and what happens if you imagine letting go by 5%?

 

Type Six: The Loyalist

Main existential fear: “I cannot prepare for this.”

Sixes fear death as the ultimate threat: unpredictable, unpreventable. Modern anxieties include catastrophizing, hypervigilance, distrust, and scanning for danger.

Clinical focus:

• Regulating the nervous system

• Strengthening inner authority

• Reducing dependency on external reassurance

Journal prompt:
If you trusted your resilience even without guarantees, what choices would you make differently?

 

Type Seven: The Enthusiast

Main existential fear: “No more options, no more joy, no more escape.”

For Sevens, death represents limitation: the end of adventure, possibility, distraction, and future planning. Modern angst shows up as avoidance of pain, compulsive planning, or reframing everything into positivity.

Clinical focus:

• Expanding tolerance for discomfort

• Integrating stillness

• Exploring grief around what cannot be outrun

Journal prompt:
If you allowed one painful truth to surface fully, what might it free you from?

 

Type Eight: The Challenger

Main existential fear: “I will be powerless and unable to protect myself or others.”

To Eights, death is the ultimate vulnerability. Modern anxiety appears as intensity, defensiveness, control, anger, and difficulty receiving support.

Clinical focus:

• Softening protective mechanisms

• Exploring childhood vulnerability

• Learning relational reciprocity and trust

Journal prompt:
Where is strength costing you connection, and what would softer strength look like?

 

Type Nine: The Peacemaker

Main existential fear: “I’ll fade away without ever having lived.”

For Nines, death mirrors their core fear of disappearing: becoming irrelevant, unnoticed, or erased. Modern anxiety shows up through numbing, avoidance, routine, or merging into others’ expectations.

Clinical focus:

• Reclaiming desire

• Strengthening voice, energy, and presence

• Working through emotional disengagement

Journal prompt:
What would living fully (in your own rhythm) look like if you stopped minimizing yourself?

 

Clinical Themes Across All Types

Regardless of type, existential anxiety often reveals deeper patterns:

1. Attachment fears

Death stirs the threat of disconnection.
Anxious types fear abandonment.
Avoidant types fear engulfment.
Disorganized types fear both.

2. Schema activation

Endings trigger these schema patterns in these enneagram types typically:

• Abandonment (4, 6, 9)

• Defectiveness (1, 2, 3)

• Vulnerability to harm (6, 5)

• Emotional deprivation (9, 2)

• Unrelenting standards (1, 3)

3. The "death" of narrative

Every type fears the loss of the story they’ve lived in. Loss of story or narrative can happen in many transitions, whether percieved as positive or negative, eg. Job loss, new marriage, newborn child, relationship loss, the "empty nest" experience, etc.
In therapy, we explore:

• What held-onto identity structures collapse?

• What internal myths end?

• If we don't take death literally, what must “die” for your new life to begin?

This is where depth therapy is most transformative. We use symbolism, hsitorical experience, inner child work, and relational exploration to translate fear of death and loss into a language of meaning, renewal, and psychological rebirth.

 

This article discusses “death” in a symbolic and existential sense: the endings, transitions, and identity shifts we meet throughout life. It is not meant to endorse or encourage self-harm. If you are struggling or feeling unsafe, please reach out for support: Call 911 if you are in immediate danger. For mental health crises or suicidal thoughts, you can contact 988 in Canada.

 

Why Exploring Death Matters in Depth Therapy

In many traditions (Jungian, archetypal, psychodynamic) “death” is not only the end of life. It's both literal and symbolic, and applies to many different transition points in a person's life, and is metaphorically necessary in the healing process-- the process of change. It’s the end of a pattern.

To heal, something in us must "die" or be let go of:

• old beliefs

• old defenses

• old relational templates

• old identities

• old loyalties to suffering

Understanding your Enneagram type helps uncover what must be released for healing to take root.

 

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Meet Rebecca Steele, Registered Social Worker, Psychotherapist (MA, MSW, RSW, CCC)

Rebecca is a Waterloo-based trauma therapist offering virtual counselling across Ontario. With over a decade of experience, she helps adults navigate trauma, anxiety, OCD (including “Pure O” presentations), and self-esteem. Her insight-driven depth therapy approach supports self-understanding, emotional healing, and lasting change. Book an appointment or learn more about her online therapy services.

Located outside Ontario? You can explore Rebecca’s coaching and consulting offerings here.